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a request (or is it an offer?)

Wednesday 13th June 2012

Hi folks,

I'm addressing myself now principally to those of you within striking distance of Ham in SW London (where we live) and in particular those of you who are less than obsessed with football.

I myself, as many of you know, am broadly indifferent to football which in this instance is a bit of a bugger as were I NOT indifferent to football I might have known thought to consult the Euro 2012 schedule when programming THIS, the latest in our (heretofore) highly successful series of fundraising comedy gigs at (and in aid of) my kids' school here in Ham.

The night in question, next Tuesday (June 19th) is, I now discover, the night on which England will play their final group match of the Euros; that is to say, the final match they're guaranteed to play, and, if they play the way they usually do on such occasions, the match which will determine whether they get any more matches.  It is, in other words, a Big Deal if you like that sort of thing, and a lot of people do.

The usual roster of friends and neighbours who have packed out every previous school comedy night are, as such, proving a little thinner on the ground on this occasion, and fair play to 'em, but it leaves me in a bit of a spot.

The school's worried that attendance will be so low it'll end up losing money on the show which is a bit of a bummer for a fundraising gig.  There doesn't appear to be another night I could re-schedule it to (and I'd probably lose the acts in the process, of which more in a minute) so it's basically a question of do we pull it or don't we.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PULL IT.  I know that football means a lot to people but I also know that there are MANY people who either ignore it when it's on or indeed seek refuge from it, and it's to these people I'm appealing.  I'm know there are enough of you within range of this gig to pack it out and I also know you'll have a great time if you come along.

In particular the bill I've got lined up is truly spectacular; I'm MCing, but never mind that, we not only have the delightful Carly Smallman and the terrifyingly cool Nathan Caton, we also have the genuinely legendary BOOTHBY GRAFFOE.  I'm SO pleased Boothby agreed to do this (I've been desperately trying to get him on The Distraction Club all year but we haven't managed to make it work yet).  The word "genius" gets slung around a lot in comedy, generally without justification but in Boothby's case it barely covers it.  He is one of the finest live comedians this country's ever produced and if you haven't heard of him that speaks more to the vagaries, caprices and tortured politics of the comedy business than to the man's talent.  Ask any comedy nerd and they'll back me up on this.  Boothby's one of the greats.

And WE'VE got him; he doesn't gig that much any more so he's not that easy to see live anywhere, let alone for the ticket price we're charging. 

SO HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO; if you're free next Tuesday and you fancy seeing a bill the Comedy Store would give its eye teeth to put on at about a third of what it costs to GO to the Comedy Store, then please click on the tickets link or call the school (0208 940 7911) to book tickets RIGHT AWAY.  If I can get a big enough block of tickets shifted in the next day or so to allay their fears that this one's gonna be empty, then we can go ahead as planned.

Don't miss this opportunity to see a terrific bill in a friendly place and at a knock-down price - and help me out in the process...

BTW Ham is a bit out of the way but it's an early start (7.45; EXACTLY the same kick off as the football *facepalm*) so we'll be done easily in time to catch buses and tubes home.  If you need any clues as to how to get to and from the venue mail me at



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