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Saturday 1st August 2009

It's been an odd week in one respect; I hardly ever get On The Telly but this week I was asked to do two small telly appearances at very short notice.  On Tuesday, The One Show asked if I could present another short bit (very short, as it turned out) which I did, and which you can see here until next Thursday (my bit starts at about 9m 25s); then today (well, Friday, so technically  yesterday now) I was pottering around Richmond with Greta in tow, buying a new tax disc for the Multipla, when Channel 4 News phooned out of the blue and asked if I could do a short interview (very short, as it turned out) on the topic of Twitter, specifically these two embarrassing Twit-gaffes by sports stars. I agreed, which involved hauling poor Clara out to Richmond to pick Greta up so I wouldn't have to bring her all the way back to Ham before going into town to do the interview. It's no wonder Clara was so flustered by the time she got home that she managed to lock the Smart Car's key inside its own boot.  The good news is, turns out, Smart Cars? VERY difficult to break into. The AA guy managed it eventually though.

It's all quite propitious, though; I'm being considered for a semi-regular TV job for the autumn (about which etc. etc.; sorry to be so tiresomely engimatic but I fear blurting this one actually would compromise my chances of landing it) so it's good to get a bit more presenting showreel, and it's just good to get on the telly a bit more by whatever means.

The thing is, I'm not in any way obsessed with Being On The Telly, not in the way people in my line of work are supposed to be - it would just be nice to Be On The Telly more if only so I could tour bigger venues.  That's my fondest wish right now; to be able to generate enough money in a three or four month tour each year to be able to make that the bulk of my live work, and spend the rest of the year writing, fannying about on the radio and looking after the kids, instead of hauling my weary ass up and down the bloody country on a more or less nightly basis. There's also the fact that I've reached the slightly awkward stage in my "live" career where my continued presence on the comedy club circuit is now rather hampering the development of my actual tours - it's harder to convince people to shell out £12 or whatever for two hours of me, when they know that a couple of months later they'll get my best 20 minutes (and three other comics' best 20 minuteses) for a tenner...

In much the same way that rock bands used to tour to promote their records but now put out records as an excuse to tour, comedians, who once worked the live circuit to get on TV, now try to get on TV in order to coin it in playing big live venues.

That's the only reason a bit more TV work would come in handy right now; the more you're seen on TV, the more comfortable those who produce TV are putting you on TV. It's cyclical, and it works both ways - while it's much easier to get on TV when you're on TV, it's a bugger getting on TV when you're not on TV. Only those people who are "on TV" are allowed on TV, if you see what I mean.  It lacks a certain logic and is basically a classic Catch 22 conundrum but that does seem to be how it goes.

The OTHER aspects of being on TV I can take or leave, and to be honest a couple of them fill me with dread -  right now I get recognised in the street just often enough to keep the old ego happy without being inconvenienced in any major way. I've been out and about with Properly Famous People Off The Telly and it looks to be a bit of a nightmare, being clocked by someone every few seconds, and having to make polite-but-firmly-distant conversation with a total stranger every couple of minutes (and knowing that if your patience fails you and you tell them to f--k off and leave you alone, you'll be pilloried for it in the News Of The World on Sunday morning).

Anyway, the Channel 4 bit is embeddable, unlike the BBC clip, so here it is:

 

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