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help me out here

Sunday 9th October 2011

Hi folks,

Realise this blog isn't anything as like as busy as it used to be; I'm guessing the reason no-one's complaining much is that you're all following me on Twitter anyway.  Thing is, occasionally I have something to say to you all (and indeed to y'all) which needs more than 140 characters or even one of those annoying sequences of 140 character bursts, and this is such an occasion so Your Attention Please...

Through no fault of anyone in particular, a bit of a crisis has arisen in my affairs - those of you who are now devotees of The Distraction Club (and scarcely have devotees been more devoté) will have figured out that its usual First Tuesday Of The Month pattern will bring the club back to The Phoenix on Tuesday November 1st. 

The TROUBLE is that, just four days later on Saturday November 5th, we (that is to say the band and I) are doing our once-yearly Big Deal London show at the Bloomsbury.

I'm coming under a LOT of pressure to cancel the Distraction Club.  I'd really rather not and besides which it isn't even entirely up to me.  The Club is jointly organised by the three band members and our pal Matt Blair; the most I could do unilaterally would be to pull out of that Tuesday's D-Club show and leave them to muddle through without me.  While I have no doubt that they COULD muddle through without me, I can't help feeling that this wouldn't help, as a Distraction Club sans me is every bit as likely or unlilkely to impinge upon the box office for the Bloomsbury gig as one WITH me (if nothing else because I'm not sure how clear we could make my non-involvement to prospective club-goers).

My own take on it is that I'm not convinced that The Distraction Club going ahead on the Tuesday WILL massively impact on attendance at the Bloomsbury on the Saturday, but obviously I can't prove this from here and hence the pressure being brought to bear upon me right now.

Which is where you guys come in. 

The only way I can calm everybody down and proceed as normal will be if everyone who is CONTEMPLATING buying tickets for the Bloomsbury show does so AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  Here's the link to the ticket site.  Did you get that? Just in case, here it is again. 

If I can get enough people to pre-book for the Bloomsbury show as to assuage the anxieties currently being rather forcefully expressed to me, then maybe I can go ahead with the Distraction Club as planned WITHOUT spending the next however many months having to avoid people.

There is an additional problemette; the date of the Bloomsbury show is not just November 5th, it's SATURDAY November 5th.  As my limey readers will know (and I'm guessing that's most of you) the big November firework displays are always on either the 5th itself or on the Saturday nearest to the 5th and this is BOTH.  I appreciate this might make that night a complete write-off for anyone with kids (or indeed anyone who like fireworks, and who doesn't).  I reckon that if we DO get a poor turnout for the Bloomsbury show it'll be at least as much down to this factor as to anything else I'm doing that week, but human nature being what it is I know I'm going to have a hard time convincing anyone of this.  So if you would have liked to come to the Bloomsbury show but can't because of firework commitments, could you do me a favour and email me to tell me so?  I may need some testimonials.  Only if that REALLY is the case, mind you.  Don't make stuff up, I'll know...

Hey, that wasn't so hard.  Maybe I'll try to blog on a more regular basis again. As you were...

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podcast and club - I've been busy and I'm getting busier

Friday 18th February 2011

Two new projects!

Firstly, I've started a new podcast!

I'm quite pleased with how quickly I've managed to get this together; literally a few days ago I thought it might be fun to start a podcast showcasing the work of newish or jobbing comic songwriters; I put the word out on Twitter that i was lookng for submissions and within about 48 hours I had enough for two or three shows.  Fantastic.
The podcast itself is up here and should turn up on iTunes in due course; meanwhile if you or someone you know have some funny songs you'd lie to me consider including, there are a couple of stipulations:

You MUST own the copyright in the song, or have the EXPRESS permission of whoever does own the copyright.  And if the copyright is split between more than one person - if there are co-writers, or if the writer has a publishing deal - ALL interested parties must give their consent to my using the song.  This also means I can't play any Weird Al-style reworded versions of other people's hits.  Tune and words have to be original.

There's no minimum recording standard; if the song's good enough I'm happy to play it even if the sound quality's a bit ropey.

We're not on the radio now, so sweariness is not really an issue.

There's no money in this, for me or anyone else.  The idea is for comic songwriters to get their work out there to (I hope) a decent online audience.

Send mp3s - or links to where I can get mp3s - to mitchbenn@hotmail.com

Good that's that. And now the other thing:

Starting on April 5 I and my pals The Distractions will be hosting a regular evening of music and comedy at The Phoenix in Cavendish Square, London.  The club will be called Sing When You're Grinning and I'm just sorting out the line-up for the first show.  I'll put details up here as & when.  I'm really excited about this as it's something I've been contemplating for quite some time and it's great that it's going ahead.

Right, if I'm about to generate some traffic onto this site for the first time in months I'd better update my giglist...

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PROUD OF THE BBC VIDEO SHOOT - directions etc.

Saturday 2nd October 2010

THE VIDEO

Ok, here's the plan.

Anyone who wants to help out with and/or be in the video for my new single PROUD OF THE BBC should turn up in front of BBC Broadcasting House tomorrow (Sunday 3rd) at 11am.

If you're not sure where that is, it's here. Nearest tubes are Oxford Circus and Regent's Park.

The plan is to shoot in front of BH for a couple of hours (or until they tell us to bugger off) and then move on to BBC TV in White City for some time after lunch (probably 2 or 3pm - sorry I can't be more precise but that's the nature of guerilla film-making).

I'm sorry but I can't pay anyone's transport costs or even buy you lunch (I could offer to do so if I knew for a fact that only three of you were coming but if I make that promise now and 200 of you turn up I'm going to look a bit stupid. And poor); this is strictly a for-laughs deal I'm afraid, but I'm hoping it'll be a fun day and produce something worthwhile.

There's no age-limit either way but if you are thinking of bringing kids along do bear in mind how much standing around doing nothing there is on a film shoot. Also it goes without saying that anyone who's normally your responsibility to look after is STILL your responsibility... MY kids will be there so who knows they may form a little gang...

We're hoping to create a cross-section-of-the-public effect so if you have any sort of work clothes or uniform it might help if you wore that (sorry if the idea of wearing your work clothes on a Sunday offends you).  Similarly if you have a particular "look" (Goth, Metalhead, Hip-Hop etc.) feel free to give it full expression.

THE SONG

While I'm here I should give you a bit of background as to the song itself, so you know what you're getting involved with.

As most of you know, I've been doing work for the BBC for a decade or so, but I've been a staunch supporter and fan of the Corporation since long before I ever had any connection to it, and I get quite nervous - and more than a little angry - when the knives come out for the BBC, as they very much have been of late.  It's particularly annoying since the Beeb, as a public service broadcaster which is (in effect if not strictly technically) more or less publically funded, is never in a position to defend itself, even against its most partisan critics.

So I thought I'd write something which expresses how I feel, and how I believe a fair majority of the British public feel, not that you'd ever know it from reading the papers (who, needless to say, have their own entirely selfish reasons for wanting rid of the BBC).  I wrote this song, Proud Of The BBC, and we've been doing it on our current tour.  The response the song's been getting has taken me completely by surprise (standing ovations, people wiping away tears) and I've realised I may actually have started a bit of a "movement" here, so we've decided the song has to come out as a single, and that means making a video.

I might add that all this has been decided in the space of the last week or so, hence the panic and disorganisation, but that's how I roll, generally speaking...

Just thought I'd better fill you in on all that; so if you feel how I feel, that the BBC, while imperfect, is one of the things that makes life in Britain bearable and occasionally wonderful, and that it needs to be celebrated and defended, then I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Oh yeah - bring brollies. Weather looks perfidious but that's ok; there's even a line in the song about lousy British weather.

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I bet that shocked you

Monday 19th April 2010

The kind of apology I ought to make for the extraordinary length of time that's elapsed since my last entry (no, don't scroll down and check the date, I'm so ashamed... oh too late) will frankly a. take all night and b. completely ruin the mood, so can we just take it as read that I'm sorry?

Ok?

You want to hear me say it, don't you.   Fine.

I'M SORRY.  There.  Happy now?

There are of course all sorts of reasons and excuses for why I've been away for so long, some more valid than others; I'm currently feeling Not Altogether Well for the second time in about six weeks, which truly sucks and is NOT like me. 

I've also been beavering away at a composition job; it's a pitch, an audition if you will, for a project I may well not get but it was so interesting having to raise my game and take some actual TIME over something (I had six weeks to work with rather than my customary 36 hours and/or 15 minutes that it'll still have been worthwhile even if I don't. Not AS worthwhile, but worthwhile *crosses fingers, fdinds itg imopdssioble tyo tpyoe wiutyh foinghers croisdsed, uncxroisses tyhem. Phew*

Anyway, now I'm back and I promise I'll try to keep this place a bit more up to date (look! I updated the gigs page and everything!).  iPhone-based blogging is intermittently successful, so whenever it is I'll try to hammer one out with those RIDICULOUS LITTLE PRETEND KEYS (the iPhone is a gorgeous piece of kit though; look at its little homescreen blinking away, aw honey I can't stay mad at you).

Be seeing you (did you see The Prisoner on Saturday? I liked it but I can see why people didn't. And leading into it with Britain's Got Talent was just plain cruel; any BGT viewer who stuck around for The Pris would have had a nosebleed in five minutes and an aneurysm in ten).

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Sent from my iPhone

Monday 8th February 2010

I did post at some point last year that one reason I was going to get an iPhone if they ever became available on Orange (which they did in November) would be in order to gain the facility to update this blog from wherever I might happen to be and whenever inspiration struck, rather than waiting till I got home (by which time inspiration's generally buggered off again).

The more attentive among you will recall that I acquired the iPhone in December and may have been wondering therefore why the promised restoration of my blogging mojo has yet to kick in.

Well, as it transpired, even with the iPhone running proper full-size Safari (though I notice sites with "mobile" modes generally default to those settings) I couldn't get the phone to co-operate with my own site.

Some sort of Cookies-related issue, apparently, or perhaps a rare and unforseeable conflict between the phone's security systems and those of the site... In any event, Rob the Webgenius got on it, and after a couple of attempts he's got it up and running. Sort of.

I can now create and update entries on this page and the news page, but only by writing in basic HTML. The only real effect this has on me is that I can't just use the return key to create a new paragraph; I have to type... well I can't actually tell you what I type, 'cos if I type it you won't see it; we'll just start a new paragraph in the middle of a sentence for no apparent reason.

The only other factor mitigating against my use of the iPhone to post regular blog entries is the fiddliness of its virtual keyboard. I've been using it for a couple of months and I actually seem to be getting worse. What you've read do far in this blog entry has taken me about half an hour.

But, it's good to know that this facility is here if I ever have something immediate or urgent to tell you. Although if I ever have anything urgent and lengthy to tell you, I think I'll wait till I'm back with the iMac.

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Hoooooooooooo boy...

Friday 8th January 2010

Rrright, first of all, it turns out that as it stands I CAN'T blog with the new iPhone. Not yet anyway. Some sort of cookies-related issue; Rob the webgenius is investigating as we speak. 

What this means in the immediate term is that far from it suddenly becoming possible to update this blog on the move, I'm still stuck with updating it from my home iMac, which is a bummer since the very fact of my BEING at home usually means there's a dozen other things need doing.

And as those of you who follow my adventures via Twitter or other means (whatever those might be; actually that's quite a disturbing thought... let's move on) will know. December DIDN'T turn out to be relaxing and laid-back after the lunacy of the ongoing tour/two or three concurrent PR campaigns/semi-regular TV spot scenario of the autumn.  It was all pretty enjoyable stuff but by 'eck there were a lot of it.

Oh yeah. I've got an iPhone, as you may have noticed in the first paragraph.  It's a hoot, quite frankly.  I keep discovering more things it does.  I think my favourite of its more obvious functions is its ability to be an on-line iPod, so while at home (or anywhere else I can get a WiFi signal) I can listen to all the BBC iPlayer's radio content. 

I'm waffling, aren't I?

It's almost as if I'm avoiding a topic or something.

Bollocks; ok, I weighed myself for the first time in over two months and I've put on about a stone and a half.  I'm now somewhere just under 23 stone (the digital scales vacillated between 23 dead on and 22 10-ish).  While this is annoying it's nowhere near as bad as I'd feared it might have been; the main reason I'd been avoiding checking all this time is that I'd been afraid to look. I'm an utter moral coward where my weight problem is concerned which was, after all, the main reason for "going public" with it on this blog in the first place.

In any event I'm not going to let it get me down; I'm still about two stone less than when I started the weight blog 18 months ago and I'm re-committing myself to the project wholeheartedly.  We've even got a Wii Fit. I'm still too heavy to USE it of course, but we've got the bloody thing, and if nothing else GETTING down within its tolerance limit (think I'm only a few pounds over) is a nicely concrete initial goal to set myself.

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Past Present & Present Present

Friday 4th December 2009

It's that time again and so I thought I'd re-post the reading I made last year of the whole of Dickens's A Christmas Carol; it's in five "staves" (as in the book) - you can download 'em all at once or serialise it for yourself.  It's on the podcasts page.

(While I'm here, many of you have been asking if I'm going to do any more podcasts; the answer is probably not in the same format as the ones I used to post, but I'm working on a whole new podcast format which I hope to kick off in the New Year - stay tuned etc.)

Sorry if it seems a bit cheeky of me to offer you last year's Christmas present all over again;  I'm sure there are those among you who've only become aware of me in the last twelve months and won't have heard the reading yet, so it's "new" to you guys. 

Meanwhile so the rest of you don't feel cheated here's just a little something I know none of you will have seen yet; it's a bit I wrote for The Now Show Book Of World Records which didn't make the final cut, for one reason or another. My money's on "another"; you'll see why when you read it.

MOST POPULAR BOOK

The most popular book ever written is THE BIBLE (God & various contributors, 6006BC-AD34).  It has been translated into every known language and several unknown ones.  It has been reprinted more times than any other published work and has outsold all other books put together. Despite all this, there is no record of God ever having claimed any royalty payments (although it is understood that the Vatican bank is holding onto all God's unpaid residuals “just in case”).

The Bible can, broadly speaking, be split into two distinct halves: The Old Testament and The New Testament.  The Old Testament tells the story of how God subjects his chosen people the Jews to thousands of years of slavery, bondage, exile and misery in order to prove to them that he loves them best.

The New Testament (original title GOD II: THIS TIME HE'S CORPOREAL) tells of how God despatches his one true son Jesus to live among mortal men as a great moral teacher and spiritual leader before having him tortured to death and blaming the entire human race for this, even those yet unborn, in order to show how much he loves us all.

As is often the case with sequels, The New Testament was not as universally well received as its predecessor with many staunch fans of the original refusing to accept it as part of the “canon” and preferring to ignore it completely (see also Highlander II: The Quickening).

A rumoured third installment BIBLE III: REVENGE OF THE LIZARD PEOPLE has yet to materialise, although many Bible scholars regard the final section of The New Testament, Revelations, as a separate book in its own right. Revelations tells in vivid language how God will one day leave the world to suffer centuries of war, famine, anguish and torment and the thousand-year reign of the Anti-Christ, before returning to destroy the entire planet to show how he loves us so much.
 

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... and relax

Sunday 29th November 2009

So the tour's over; we ended in fine style at the Gulbenkian in Canterbury in front of an audience whose enthusiasm rivalled even that of the London show's crowd (and considering how many ringers - erm, I mean, Close Friends And Relations - we had in at the Bloomsbury, I think we might even say that the Canterbury crowd "won"). 

The show was recorded "off the desk"  - it's clear as a bell but since there were no audience mikes in operation the laughter and applause is only barely audible. It might be possible to tweak this and make the recording available in some form in the future; obviously I'll announce that if and when it happens.  We stuck the freshly burned CD on in the car on the way home, ostensibly just to see how it had turned out quality-wise.  We ended up listening to the whole thing.  I'm pleased to say that, experiencing the show for the first time as a listener, I was struck by how well it flowed and held together.  I think this was our best show so far and it sets a high bar for next year.

And one way or another I'm fairly sure that there will BE a next year.  At the end of the last tour I was pretty content but knackered, and decided that unless there was a marked upswing in attendance for THIS year's tour, I probably wouldn't bother touring again.  Now, despite the fact that there hasn't been a particularly obvious advance on last year numbers-wise (maybe a slight increase on last year; we await the final scores) I'm now of the opinion that even if I only ever tour at this "level" it's still a worthwhile exercise in itself.  I've enjoyed ALMOST every show (not naming names) and the camaraderie between myself and Ives & Kirst has been better than ever (unless they're REALLY bottling it up), making even the long hauls entertaining.  It's been noticeable that we've done best in places we've played before (The Bloomsbury, the Gulbenkian, the Cambridge Junction, The Dancehouse in Manchester), so the trick is obviously to keep returning to the scenes of our greater triumphs and build upon them. 

I'm glad I'm feeling this way; not because I've completely given up on the idea of Doing Bigger Things (I haven't), but because I'm no longer allowing my desire to Do Bigger Things to distract me from appreciating the worth of the things I've done and am still doing.  That's a good attitude to have when you're about to turn 40, I reckon.

When you're young you do rather live in the future all the time.  Your mind's full of what you're gonna do, and where you're gonna go, and who you're gonna be. When you get to my age, and you notice that your past is now at least as big as your future, you start to realise that while it's always good to have one eye on the future, the present is where you actually live, and if you're not paying attention you might miss it.

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hello all and sorry and all that and everything

Monday 26th October 2009

I know it's been weeks and I'm getting as sick as everyone else of the fact that every entry on this blog now begins with a lengthy grovelling apology for the length of the gap since the last one, so shall we just say sod it, until at least the end of November (when the tour finishes and my life will return to what passes for "normality" in my case) this is how it's going to have to be with regard to blog entries and the frequency thereof.  Having said that, apparently Orange will finally stop teasing me and release their first iPhones in about three weeks after which I'll be able to update the blog while on the move (at the moment I can tweet using my phone but that's all).

Speaking of Twitter, a day or so ago I made a promise to a Tweep acquaintance of mine to follow up more fully on a conversation we were having; basically (as far as I can tell) she's getting hassle from her family to study something at university which doesn't interest her but which they feel will give her the best job opportunities. A mutual friend of ours weighed in to the effect that she should do the degree which would help her get the job SHE wanted, rather than the job her parents thought she should get.  On reading this I felt compelled to join the discussion; I said I'd go further than that - I thought she should do whatever degree she'd enjoy doing the most, and sod the job prospects.  Realising that this might sound glib or reckless (not to mention a bit smug and complacent coming from a bloke who's managed to end up singing rude songs for a living) I promised to explain at length why this comment was not reckless hedonistic or irresponsible, but was in fact sage career advice.  This would take many many tweets to do properly, so it is to you, my poor neglected blog, that I turn.

Here's the thing; when I was a kid the people I envied were not so much those who made big bucks, drove flash cars and lived in rambling mansions as those who Got By doing something they loved.  I always figured enjoying your life was better reward than cash and toys, and that no amount of cash and toys would make up for hating your life. 

As I've gotten a bit older, and dare I say it wiser, and I've met plenty of people who've achieved varying measures of success at various jobs which they liked or disliked to varying degrees, I've revised - or rather refined - my opinion.  I still think it's better to make a living doing something you enjoy rather than achieve wild success in doing something you don't, but I now realise you're actually MORE LIKELY to achieve wild success doing something you enjoy.

I realise this is a bit counter-intuitive, crapping as it does all over both the Protestant Work Ethic and the prevailing Judeo-Christian principle of Redemption Through Suffering, not to mention sounding Too Bloody Good To Be True, but here's how it works.

Achieving wild success at anything takes Bloody Hard Work.  However talented you are, however naturally immediate job-by-job success comes to you, developing that talent into a career takes Bloody Hard Work.  Even if wild success falls into your lap, even if you win the X Factor, KEEPING that success takes Bloody Hard Work.  In short, material success by any means other than winning the lottery takes Bloody Hard Work. 

BUT... if you enjoy your job, you will do that Bloody Hard Work with a spring in your step and a song in your heart. You will get up at dawn, slog till the next dawn and beyond, blister your fingers and bend your back and you'll do it all with a big dumb grin on your face. You'll persevere through the lean times and keep working just as hard during the good times, because you're doing what you love.

None of this guarantees success, but you're far more likely to keep at it long enough to give yourself a chance at success than if you're doing something which fills you with despair all week and dread all weekend.

I've been doing a bunch of interviews for this tour I'm on, and in many of them I've observed that I think I probably have more fun than just about anyone I know.  There are a few aspects of my job I could live without; I could do with a bit less driving, certainly, but by and large I spend most of my waking hours enjoying myself in one way or another.  I like performing, I get a great amount of satisfaction from writing, I enjoy meeting my "public" (most of them...). 

Having said all that, I also work harder than pretty much anyone else I know, particularly just now.  The tweeps among you may have read a few days ago about the twenty-straight-hours shift I pulled last Thursday.  I commented on that not to whinge but just to point out the bleakly comic aspect of just how relentless that day was going to be (the fact that it ended with me driving to Hull from midnight to 3am meant it even had a punchline of sorts).  I may occasionally find myself Not Really In The Mood and have to kick my own arse into gear, but I never find myself truly miserable at the prospect of another day at the office, probably because every day at my "office" is different.

So there you go.  Doing what you love is no guarantee of wealth or success, but it's its own reward in many ways and you certainly won't harm your chances of real success any.

Oh yeah. Weighed myself; 21 3, same as a few weeks ago. Think I went up a bit and them back down again.

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wondrous stories

Wednesday 30th September 2009

Here's the press blurb for the documentary I've been working on for the past few months.  I haven't heard the finished one but I've got a fair idea how it'll sound, and I hope everyone likes it.  I'm happy anyway as it gave the me the chance to meet a couple of heroes of mine for the first time; Jeff Wayne, of "...'s Musical Version Of The War Of The Worlds" immortality, and Brian Blessed.

Jeff Wayne agreed to be interviewed on Horsell Common near Woking, the site of the first Martian landing in TWOTW (book and album; one thing we discussed is that for all that his record is a weird disco-prog hybrid concept album it's actually the only one of the myriad adaptations of TWOTW which even attempts to be faithful to the book) which was damned sporting of him considering the interview was for the radio, and dragging him all the way to darkest Surrey didn't really achieve anything sonically save for a bit of atmos we could have gotten off an FX CD.   He's a remarkably unassuming guy and quite humble about the record itself - I learned a few things I hadn't realised, such as the fact that he financed the whole recording himself, gambling every penny he and his whole extended family had on the project before he'd even attained a firm commitment from any record label to release the damn thing...

Meanwhile, Brian Blessed, you'll be delighted to hear, is pretty much exactly how you've always imagined Brian Blessed to be. I interviewed him in a small recording booth in Whistledown studios in Southwark - almost certainly the fullest that booth's ever been with only two people in it.  He's wildly enthusiastic about everything he discusses and could digress for Britain in the Olympics - trying to keep him On Topic is like trying to herd a flock of large, ebullient and very loud cats.  Thank heavens for the gift of editing, as it enabled us to distill some fantastic stories from the torrent of riotous, hilarious and frequently libellous anecdotes that issued forth from the great man (and kept us all out of court, most probably).

The other person I interviewed for the programme was, of course, Rick Wakeman, but this hardly counts as "meeting", as not only have I known Rick for ten years now, but I've been seeing quite a bit of him lately - I performed at a charity gig he organised a couple of months ago and I've done an interview for his show on Planet Rock radio which I believe goes out this Saturday.

I've also shot another vid for Watchdog; this one will air on Thursday evening. I'll be on stage in Durham.

Oh, and woo hoo!

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